You Don’t Have to Be Fixed to Be Good

Letting go of perfection and learning to grow without shame.

Have you ever heard of a fixed versus a growth mindset? Psychologist Carol Dweck coined the terms to describe how people think about their abilities. A growth mindset is the belief that abilities can be developed through effort and practice, with challenges seen as opportunities to learn. A fixed mindset, on the other hand, assumes that traits are unchangeable, leading people to avoid challenges altogether.

When I named this Substack Praxis, it was with the hope that I could share how I’m learning to live what I teach. I wanted to take the theories and ideas that shape my worldview and apply them to real lived experiences. My goal is to align my values with how I actually move through the world. I don't want to just be a “good person” in theory. I want to evaluate my behaviors, my relationships, and my choices to ensure I am who I say I am. I want to be who I want to be.

Allowing myself to be a growing and developing human has brought me peace, joy, and deepened my relationships in ways that I wouldn’t have understood before allowing myself to  shift from a fixed idea of who I had to be and began giving myself permission to grow. Once I recognized that I could create my own being, I had to make a choice of whether or not I was willing to take the risks and endure the hard work to make new choices, accepting that mistakes would come, but believing that the process of growth was worth the effort. I had to decide if I wanted to choose growth and evolution vs. stagnation. 

Freedom came when I stopped seeing myself as fixed as either “good” or “bad.” I’ve let go of the idea that there’s a point at the end of the tunnel where the growth will stop and I’m accepting that there’s no destination I’m hustling my way to reaching. The exploration is the growth, the adventure, the purpose. Mistakes, confusion, heartbreak, and bad days are simply part of the ride - they were going to come anyway.